Josh Hoffman with JBMB Properties in Newport, RI reached out and wanted to do a spotlight interview series on my new book, The Swipe Right Effect: The Power to Get Unstuck. I gratefully agreed and we had a lot of fun and some great conversation.
I asked this question last night, and I'm not a videographer by any means, so doing this again. Because you had said that when you were writing the book, or when you did beta the book, that you put it to a 50/50 test case with men and women, because you wanted to ensure that there was no implied bashing for men.
And I think we kind of have to applaud you on that, for having that mindset and realizing that that could definitely be an opportunity or something that can happen. Yes, coming out like this, because there are 10 very strong female images and representatives and stories in here. And you do have some male associations in them. But they're not the interviewees.
They're not kind of the meat and potatoes of the chapters, right? There are men that have given advice and have been there. But I think having that have been cognizant of that ability, or that to happen is very smart. But also, because there are 10.
Yes! 10 Plus. Makes sense.
For sure. Because there are 11 strong females represented in here, you know, like I said, it could have the opportunity of kind of not being picked up or you know, being overlooked by men, right. So, myself in reading it, my initial perception, or my initial expectation was really just to get into your mind and understand where you're coming from.
And it was more anthropological. I didn't think that I was going to actually relate to this. And that was wildly incorrect. Because, you know, as I said, yesterday, if you take out the female names and the pronouns, anyone reading this can relate to it, there's a lot of relatabilities. So, in making sure that there is a male audience out there that understands that even though you know, this is touching on stories that are coming from the female perspective. It's still very powerful for them and can help and you were saying yesterday, how you've had reviews from men?
Yes, I've been so pleasantly surprised. Yeah, I bet it's probably half. If not, it's 40 or 45% of my reviews on Amazon are from men. And some of them are just really interesting. One is a divorce lawyer saying, I need to give these to my clients. And I'm like, “Yes, order a box. Please, how do I track you down?”
And some of them are just saying, “I was completely surprised by this.” And one man, he said the reason he immediately related to me was because I had hiked the Camino de Santiago, and so on he read. And he just said, “This was not what I was expecting.”
And wow, he gave me a long review. I have no idea who that man is and it just really meant a lot to me. It means a lot to me, when my friends who are male, give me those reviews, but complete strangers, it's just it's very gratifying.
And yes, half of my beta readers were men. And that thought initially came to me, because I didn't want to be accused of husband, ex-husband bashing, and if the ladies and I did talk about something like that, I cut it out of the interview.
I had some great editors who weren't catching anything. But my friend Lindsey, who I also met on the Camino, was the first male reader and he is just one of the most tender-hearted, really-in-touch with his feelings male that I know. I mean, he's just really, he's just done a lot of work. A lot of work. And he's Australian, and they, they're just into the woowoo over there a little more than the men are here. And so he was my first check.
And when I got feedback from him, I made some adjustments. And then I sent it to other males that I know. And I thought it really worked out great. And I was getting feedback immediately like this. This is going to help people and this is you, you're doing the right thing stay on this path.
Because I think I was probably through like chapter five when I started the beta. And because I wanted to make sure you don't want to keep writing when you're on the wrong path.
There is still something to note about the diversity in the book too, because, you know, we are talking about different stories and different experiences. And this isn't all just divorcees talking about how they overcame, you know, the legal battles and the splitting of possessions and, you know, moving out and children and all that.
Yeah, it's almost none of that. Really. I mean that my story is about divorce, but the other 10 people are completely different stories and they're all over the place. Yeah, there's some people that have been divorced, but there remarried or have been for a long time.
And there was a relationship that stayed together and they just talked about turbulences in the relationship.
That's one of my favorites. Chapter Three is one of my favorites as well. It's chapter title is Fight For It or Not, and it is about how this couple have fought to stay together and then they're together and they're very happy. And she shares the tools that the two of them use to get back to each other. And they're really quite simple. There are really simple things to do, you know, and I'm not going to tell them here so you have to read!