Josh Hoffman with JBMB Properties in Newport, RI reached out and wanted to do a spotlight interview series on my new book, The Swipe Right Effect: The Power to Get Unstuck. I gratefully agreed and we had a lot of fun and some great conversation.
So when we talk about this entire process, right, and you channel it through chapters and themes and going through it, the average person, let's say, would take years to grieve, and mourn and kind of find themselves. If they get to that point, if they're able to get to that point, but they could, they could be wallowing, and they could be really in a hole for a very long time, after going through anything tragic in their lives.
Yes. So in this book, while deep, is a fairly quick read. It doesn't take that long to go through. And the empowerment practices can take a while, depending on how focused you are, how committed you are to doing them. But also the ability to go through it.
Because as you're doing the empowerment practices, you are coming to terms with a lot of things, and you are forcing yourself to see yourself in a different light sometimes and who you feel like you are in your soul, not who you've been made to feel like because of outside factors and things right.
So what do you want people to be able to take away from this knowing that I could possibly read the book in a in a few hours over several sessions. But if I'm doing the practices that could take me a year, if I'm devoted to it. Would you recommend kind of like something I did, I read the book in its entirety first. And then I went back and read the interviews and started doing the workshops that I thought were beneficial to me. Right. Yeah, that made sense. I mean, that could take people a really long time as they're going through it.
Well, yeah, I mean, I would say in the, you know, except for the ones with the leadership academies and stuff that I had done. You know, a lot of them I have done over the last five years since I separated and got divorced.
And I think not all of them are going to hit home with everybody, like you said. There's some that really stick out to you, and there's some that are maybe not going to work. I think the meditations are really important.
But if someone is not grieving, then that meditation on grief is just not going to hit. And so, I think it's just important to pull what speaks to you.
But you know, it does start off with just trying to have a vision for yourself. And then it builds. And I do think the first two empowerment practices, everyone should do.
Everyone, you know, creating a vision for yourself, means that you are not just floating down the river. Like my friend Shanaya says in the book I have for 40 years, I floated down the river, and I let everybody else's currents rule my life.
So don't do that, you know, but create a vision for yourself, know where you want to go. And I think it's really important.
You know, there's vision statements, there's vision boards, there's all and a lot of people roll their eyes at that. But one of the most effective things I ever did, I had a life coach, and she told me to write a story about myself.
I ended up writing a story about writing a book about myself, but it was empowering to see how beautiful my life can be, and to have that imagery of true happiness and being by the ocean.
And I mean, the things I wrote in that story two years ago, are coming true right now. And so if I hadn't had that vision for myself, if I hadn't said I'm gonna go live by the ocean, I might not have ever written this book! It's amazing.
Josh Hoffman 03:42
Our projection. Yes. And, and specifically, I think people should focus on positive projection. Yes. So you can end up where you did having this book come out and being in the place where you want to be, in an area where you want to be, with people that you choose to have around you.
And so, I think that's very important. People that project negatively, those are the ones that you very often find saying, “how can all this bad stuff keep happening to me?”
Somebody can only be unlucky so much, right? So if you choose to change that energy, I do believe in that on a spiritual level. I think if you seek out positive, you will find it and if you project positively you will find it. It may take time and there's always gonna be bumps in the road.
Like attracts like - the law of attraction. If you are putting out positive, positive comes back to you. I really believe that and, you know, I pray about it, I want to I meditate on it, and I try to manifest it. And I believe all these things are the same thing. You know, some people are uncomfortable with the word manifest, but to me manifestation is prayer. And it's just drawing, saying what I need, saying what I want, and trying to be grateful and positive in those moments.
And you also find yourself making it happen. Yeah, you know, manifestation. Some people can think, “oh, you know, we put something on the universe, poof, it just happens.”
But it's almost subliminal messaging for yourself. You don't realize the small little changes that you're doing day to day, minute to minute, just by thinking positively about it, that you're actually a catalyst in making that a success and having it happen to you, that's momentum.
Exactly! Your momentum. If you are in a positive force in the world, your momentum is going to increase. If you are a negative force in the world, you are going to get stuck. And you're not going to be able to move and it's going to be like standing and tar or mud.
Then we're going to need to sell them your book.
Yeah, well, I wish everybody was unstuck. But if not, yes, please read my book.