Welcome to the Swipe Right Effect Podcast, where we share the power to get unstuck by swiping right on ourselves. In this episode, our host, CK Collins, sits down with internationally known TEDx speaker, author, and dating relationship coach for women over 40, Sandy Wiener. Together, they explore the concept of attraction leading to poor choices and the paradox of too much choice in the world of dating.
Unraveling the Mystery of Attraction:
Many people believe that intense sparks and butterflies are signs of a strong connection, but Sandy Wiener suggests otherwise. She explains that the attraction we often feel is rooted in unhealthy patterns formed during our childhood. Our early attachments to our caretakers shape our romantic attachments later in life. Sandy shares examples of how individuals with certain childhood experiences may unknowingly seek out relationships that recreate familiar but negative patterns.
The Need for Rewiring:
To break free from these unhealthy attractions, Sandy emphasizes the importance of rewiring our brains for healthy attachment and attraction. She encourages individuals to develop a deep understanding of themselves, their values, and their core needs. By building self-worth and aligning with their true selves, people can attract partners who are securely attached and form healthier relationships.
Navigating the Paradox of Choice:
The abundance of dating apps and endless options often leads to decision paralysis. Sandy addresses this issue by drawing on the concept of the paradox of choice. She explains that having too many choices can overwhelm us, making it difficult to make a decision or commit to a relationship. Sandy suggests limiting the number of choices to a manageable few and taking the time to explore each potential match before moving forward.
Trusting Your Inner GPS:
Trusting one's intuition, or "inner GPS," is crucial in the dating world. However, many individuals struggle with this due to past experiences or societal conditioning. Sandy encourages people to reconnect with their intuition by getting in touch with their core values and aligning their choices with their authentic selves. By practicing self-awareness and self-trust, individuals can make better decisions and cultivate healthier relationships.
Embracing the Process:
Transitioning back into the dating scene after a long-term relationship or personal loss can be daunting. Sandy acknowledges the vulnerability and fears that arise during this process. She emphasizes that developing self-love, confidence, and inner healing is an essential first step. It's a gradual process that involves self-discovery, setting boundaries, and learning from past experiences. Building a solid foundation within oneself enables individuals to approach dating with greater clarity and self-assurance.
The journey of finding love and getting unstuck begins with swiping right on yourself. Sandy Wiener's insights shed light on the misconceptions around attraction, the paradox of choice, and the importance of trusting one's inner GPS. By rewiring our brains, limiting choices, and embracing self-awareness, we can make more conscious decisions and form healthier, fulfilling relationships. Remember, the path to finding love starts within you.